given some time, you can train these subjects to have a predetermined emotional response but this takes practice and self control and sometimes you don't want to control how you feel, sometimes you need to stop controlling so much and just let it out, and once you have done so maybe you can move forward.
it's complicated the wanting to let go and hold on to the same thing and the best balance is to sometimes do nothing and go about your life as if that thing didn't exist. And if you can forget about it after a while, perhaps it really wasn't that big of a deal in the first place.
but maybe a couple times in your life you get things that never go away, things that won't be forgotten, no matter how much you ignore them, no matter how much you try not to talk about them, they are the things that freeze time. and you start to think you might never be able to address them and they over run parts of your life, parts that you held dear but every time you try and take that part of your life back, the thing is all you can think about. it has won. and really, you let it win, cause like i said, part of you wants to keep it no matter what the toll.
so what i'm trying to say, or what i'm trying to figure out, is a way to talk about the thing that has been holding my writing hostage, so i can move forward and be free but it has to be done right, done in a way that brings clarity as bright as a wash of blinding light and no doubts will remain that everything is in perfect order and the earth can begin rotating once more. cause as it stands the only indication i have that time may actually still be moving forward is looking in the mirror and seeing how ungracefully i have aged.